Memphis in May Olympic Triathlon

Memphis in May Olympic Triathlon

1.5k swim/ 40k bike/ 10k run

The best thing about this race is that I got my minor freak out over with prior to the race. And I kind of went all out with this one.

Now, I have to explain how much I loathe being cold. It makes me angry and miserable and grumpy. And it doesn't take much for me to be cold-ask my coworkers and family! It doesn't matter that I was born and raised in Michigan... I never got used to being cold... and it was a cold rainy weekend.

When I set up my bike Saturday afternoon the transition was already muddy from the Sprint tri that morning. 

Mud level on Saturday

My bike second from the end

We had family in town so I let them do fun things without me while I went to Tunica to get my packet, rack my bike, check out the expo and sit through the race preview and expert Q&A.
I went back home for church and dinner and then Nathan and I went back to Tunica for the night since the race started at 7am.

When we woke up at 5:30 it was 50 degrees and still raining. I was mad and dreading the race. I wasn't worried about the swim because of my wetsuit, and I figured the run wouldn't be too bad, but I was worried about the bike because everything feels colder at 20 mph.

I may or may not have stomped my feet while freaking out in the hotel room while tearfully whining that I didn't want to do the race. I felt cold in the 73 degree dry hotel room... I wasn't excited about 50 degree rain. I mean, 50 degrees is one thing, but add in rain and that just increases the suck level.

The walk down to transition was miserable. I was shivering and Nathan said my lips turned purple. I was trying so hard not to cry.

My transition spot was a muddy puddle. I had a large garbage bag in my tri bag so I put that down instead of a towel. It was still raining and mud was everywhere. I had my bike and run shoes in plastic bags and carelessly piled my other things wherever. I didn't even strategically place them like I'd normally do because everything was a mess and I didn't care. Honestly, it was all becoming comical.

As soon as I got body marked I found somewhere drier to get my wetsuit on, which was a lot harder to put on than normal since I was already wet and muddy. Nathan fed me bites of my breakfast as I struggled with my suit (I was too busy freaking out earlier and forgot to eat).

I felt warmer as soon as I got the wetsuit on. I was still dreading the bike.

The swim was good. The last I heard the water temperature was 68. My suit felt restrictive for the first few strokes but once I let water inside of it (brrr!) the suit loosened up and felt better. I was having a hard time seeing the first turn buoy, which made sense once I got there because it had deflated! I was swimming wide of the course, which is typical for me, but I feel more comfortable being further from the pack. It makes my swim time longer, though, so it's something I need to work on.
I had fun on the swim. My feet and hands were numb, but the rest of me was fine.

In T1 I discovered a big gash in my thumb?! I still have no idea how or where I managed to do that; my hands were so cold I couldn't feel it. I didn't notice it until I got to my bike and saw blood all over my hand. I felt so sanitary with blood and mud all over me. Yay.
Typically in T1 I'd put on my helmet and bike shoes and walk my bike out of the transition area, but the race officials were yelling out to us to carry our shoes and bikes out of transition and put them on once we waded through a giant puddle and got to the pavement.

The bike wasn't as bad as I anticipated. The rain stopped for the most part, and I had a wind jacket on which helped me tolerate the temperature. I had a couple of rocks in my shoe but since I don't ride with socks and my bike shoes have mesh to promote air flow, my feet stayed numb and I stopped feeling the rocks for a while.
We had a tail wind for the first section of the course; I was going 22-23 mph and passed a few people. Unfortunately we had a headwind for the last 9 or 10 miles so I struggled to keep at 15 mph. A lot of people on fancy road bikes with aero bars passed me but I still managed to pass a couple people.

I came in sooner than I predicted so Nathan actually missed me come into T2. Getting off my bike was funny because my feet were numb and my legs were shaky and I had to run through the mud in bike shoes while holding my bike up. The whole situation was just so crazy that I was laughing.

The race officials were telling us not to put our running shoes on yet, so I racked my bike, chugged some Gatorade (only had one sip of Gatorade around mile 10 on the bike... the only calories I consumed up until that point), grabbed my socks, shoes, and a gel and ran through the mud and then through the giant puddle right outside of transition that thankfully washed off the mud. They had towels to help us dry off before getting our shoes on but I somehow never got one... it was somewhat chaotic. I considered going sockless because getting my compression socks up my wet calves was taking so long and I didn't think to have any other kind of socks, but I've never ran sockless and "nothing new on race day" so I took the time to get them on.

Leaving Transition
Photo from Start2Finish

The puddle we ran through to wash off the mud.
Photo from Start2Finish

I felt good on the run. It was still overcast but no rain and the temperature increased enough to be comfortable. It was the fastest 10k I've ever ran. I'm going off my watch time and not my official time because my official time includes the time I was sitting on the curb trying to get my socks and shoes on (run time starts as soon as I left the transition area.) Also, my last mile was my fastest! Negative splits! I am happy with my run.

I know I had a rough start to this race, but really, once I got going and embraced the mud it became fun. I really did enjoy it. I think what had been upsetting me the most before the race started was that I had originally felt so prepared and ready and excited, and then the weather changed everything. And it wasn't even a matter of being cold- it was the fact I hadn't trained for that. I didn't know if I'd be okay with or without a wind jacket- or if that was even going to be enough.

The other reason I was nervous about the race was that on Saturday I went to the expert Q & A and they were discussing race nutrition and how the best time to eat and hydrate is on the bike. The problem is that I don't feel that comfortable grabbing my water bottle while I'm riding (I can, but I don't like to... hence I only did it once during the 24 miles), and I've never tried eating while riding, either (and nothing new on race day!). It made me nervous I wouldn't have a good race because I never had done that distance of biking and running after a long swim. Was I going to need the calories and hydration on the bike like they were saying? Or was what I did in training going to work for me even with a long swim preceding it?

I had the sip of Gatorade at mile 10, and then half of my bottle in T2. I took a few sips of Gatorade at mile 1 and 5 but otherwise stuck to water at each mile and ate a gel at mile 2 or 3. That seemed to work for me. Apparently my body does just fine taking on about 200 calories at the last third of a race. I'll have to get more comfortable taking on calories while riding for the Half Iron distance, but for an Oly, what I did was fine.

Silly experts. They made me doubt my gear and my nutrition, so next year I'm not going to listen to them.


The week after the race I took pretty easy, which went against my training plan for my next Triathlon that is in 2.5 weeks (yikes). Having two races only 4 weeks apart doesn't allow much time for recovery. Luckily my next Tri is slightly shorter than the Oly. It's in between a Sprint and Olympic so I'm calling it a Sprylmpic.
Oh, and one week before that I'm running a 10 nautical mile race because I'm crazy. Who needs a taper? Just go run 11.5ish miles. No big deal... Yeah, I don't know... this will be interesting.

Trusting the Taper

The race is 4 days away and I am in full taper mode. Surprisingly, I haven't had any taper tantrums yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to. I really expected to be going crazy by now. We're having family come down tomorrow night for about a week, so we've been busy cleaning and running errands, and that might be helping.

The hardest thing now is to stop running when I'm supposed to. Yesterday was only10 minutes after my bike ride. Today was just 30 minutes. I wanted to keep going so badly! But I didn't. I'm trying to trust the taper. Trust that I've trained to the best of my ability. Trust that the reduction in training will mean I'm fresher on Sunday. I feel ready. I feel like I did all I could the past few months to prepare for this.

I'm not nervous for Sunday. I'm excited, but there does seem to be a nervous energy about it. Anticipation, maybe?
I'm not anxious in the sense I think something is going to go horribly wrong. Or that I'm not prepared. It's just an unknown. I've never raced this distance before. I don't know what it will make me feel like. And my wave start is near the front, so I'm predicting a lot of people swimming over me and hearing a lot of "on your left" while on the bike. But that won't be the first time for either one of those.

Honestly, I'm just really excited. I love the triathlon environment. Everyone I've met at races has been so encouraging and friendly. Plus, triathletes are just crazy- I think it's part of the definition- and the craziness becomes normal. A typical person will think what we do is nuts ("you're waking up how early to do what for 3 hours?") while we all just have smiles on our faces and permanent marker on our arms and legs.
The other awesome part of triathlon is that there is no music allowed, so, unlike running races where everyone has their headphones on, everyone actually talks to each other. I just love it and can't wait to be part of it again. Plus it's another day I get to do the three sports I love, and give thanks to God all the while!

*and is also crazy

T-10 days

I'm happy to report that Triathlon became fun again shortly after my last post. I've been figuring out what exactly my body needs in order to recover well enough to do it again the next day. And I think that overall I'm getting stronger so I can tolerate more.

I laughed a little when I reread my last post... how a 90 minute bike ride seemed so long, because my longest ride of 2.5 hours last week makes everything else not seem so bad. Granted, that was a rough week, but still.

On Tuesday I swam with a wetsuit for the first time! Those suckers are not easy to get on! Since winter didn't want to go away and spring has been so mild, my race is probably going to be wetsuit legal (water temp under 78), and maybe necessary. I ended up renting a suit that luckily fits. I was a little bit skeptical since I just told them my height, weight, and general build and they just send one.

Phil, me, and Glen pre-swim

I'm so glad to have gotten an open water swim with the wetsuit before the race. It wasn't bad, but it was definitely different and my shoulders were getting tired during the second half of our swim.

Yesterday, I rode for 2 hours and felt really good, but then struggled a lot on the run.  The run was supposed to be 40 minutes, but it ended up being an hour because mentally I needed it to be race distance (10k).  I felt okay for the first few miles, but then it just got hard.  I think my biggest problem was dehydration, because I was outside from 12-330 on a muggy 85 degree day (I'm NOT complaining about the heat!) so I know I sweat out more than a few pounds. I had water with me, but not enough to compensate. My pace (not including walk breaks- which I didn't want to take but desperately needed) was actually pretty good which was both surprising and comforting.  Hopefully race day hydration won't be as much of an issue since it's earlier in the day and there will be water stations every mile by the time I get to the run.  I'm not sure how I'll be after swimming almost a mile, though. It might be hard to catch up on fluids?  I don't know! I've never done this before! Ah!!! 10 days!!! Freak out!!!

The way my training fell into place this week wasn't ideal. I ended up having to do a 50 minute ride/20 minute run today after my 3 hours yesterday, and my legs were TIRED. They get a day off tomorrow, though, since it's -thankfully- a swim day.

I'm now into taper mode. This is the first race I've actually followed a training plan for, so while I've tapered to some extent for some races, I've never seen it written down on paper, and I don't even know if I've tapered this much before. Going from a 10.5 hour training week to a 7.5 hour training week was okay (and kind of a nice break), but next week is only 3.5 hours!!!!!  That's shorter than what I did last Thursday! It hurts my brain a little bit.

My view for hours.

Sometimes, this isn't fun.

I am worn out. This week my training volume decreased by an hour and a half, but the intensity increased a lot.

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were about pushing myself as hard as I could to find my new edge. I found it and now I want a nap.

I had time trials in all three disciplines to adjust my training paces/heart rates/zones, since over time they will naturally (hopefully) improve.

I'm excited to report that my times have all drastically improved in the last 5 weeks. I'm really surprised and pleased with my progress. I have never swam or ran as fast as I am now... it's exciting!

But this week took so much out of me. Today I was scheduled for 90 minute bike ride followed by a 20 minute run. A lot of the bike was supposed to be in zone 3 and 4, which I managed for about 30 minutes. But then I had nothing left. I spent the next 30 minutes in zone 2 and was struggling. My legs didn't want to do what I was telling them to do. It was so frustrating. I ended my ride after just an hour and put on my running shoes... and then immediately took off my running shoes, showered, and got dressed for the day. I am so tired- even mentally tired. I love running the most of all three, so when I was dreading the run that's how I knew it wasn't in the cards at that moment.

I'm going to take it easy for a few hours and make sure I'm hydrated (might be part of my problem). I'm not giving up on my workout today, but I need a break. Later this afternoon I might finish my 30 minute ride and then run, or just do my run. Or maybe neither.

I'm really frustrated. On paper, my training doesn't look that hard. I was ready for it when I hopped on my bike this morning. I wanted to push myself today, but my body just wasn't cooperating with me.

It makes me doubt myself, my abilities, and my goals. If I can't finish a 90 minute bike ride, how I am I going to make it 56 miles next year? It scares me, and makes me angry. Angry that my body can't do what a healthy person's body would be able to do.

It helps a little to look back at the progress I have made. I've done a 2+hr ride followed immediately by a 4 mile run. I did that! Just last week! I am capable... just under the right circumstances.

This week was hard- it was supposed to be (yesterday I actually did all three: a hard ride (my time trial) followed by an easy run, and then later that night a really hard swim). And now to expect my legs to perform as well as they did last week, which was less intense, maybe isn't realistic. For me, anyway.

Maybe I have to reevaluate my training schedule. Maybe my harder rides need to be at the beginning of the week when I have slightly fresher legs (Sundays are my only off day). And maybe I just can't ride two days in a row. Or maybe when I don't have three time trials next week I'll be able to handle it better.

Maybe I have to stop comparing myself to other athletes that can go out and ride several hours at a time with no rest days in between. I'm not like other athletes. My body needs more rest than other athletes. It's just hard for me to accept that.

I hate limitations.

I guess it's God's way of teaching me patience and acceptance. And maybe even trust.

Today, triathlon isn't fun. Today, triathlon is exhausting and scary. It's a good thing there are only 12 more hours left of today, because I'm hoping triathlon is fun again tomorrow (or even again this afternoon).

Counting Down to Three Races

To clarify: the training I am doing right now is for my first Olympic Triathlon (1.5k, 40k bike, 10k run) that is 5 weeks from yesterday!  It's the longest distance I've tackled so far. Actual training for the Half Ironman won't start for a while, but I plan on building a good base and strength to help prevent any injuries.

Speaking of Texas 70.3, they released the date for next year: April 26th. I have over a year to prepare! (53 weeks and 6 days)

Today I signed up for the 2014 St. Jude Half Marathon (236 days away).  Maybe 3rd time is the charm. The first two times were a little weird. I injured my foot training in 2012 and had to run the race untrained (I had been cycling and swimming a lot, though, and that helped), and then last year I developed a femoral neck stress fracture a couple weeks before the race... which ended up being cancelled anyway due to a Memphis ice storm!

I was undecided about running it this year. It's a really great race, and for a really great cause, so I wanted to do it, but it's also 5 months out from Texas 70.3 and I don't have a very good injury record.
Ultimately, I knew I'd regret it if I didn't register. I've also learned a lot about my last few injuries and I think I know how to avoid future ones.

My last injury, the stress fracture, was caused from being hamstring dominant. My hamstrings were too strong and so my glutes, adductors, abductors, and- to some extent- my quads were weaker because they could be. I was evaluated by a physical therapist after my doctor finally cleared me to run a couple months ago and was astonished by what he was showing me. I knew I wasn't the strongest person around, but I didn't know I was that weak, either! He said he wasn't surprised I broke my femur where I did. My muscles weren't there to take the impact of running like they should be, so my bones were taking most of the force. He gave me a long list of exercises to do and said as long as I increase my strength there is no reason why I have to give up long distance running!  So I'm holding him to that.

I don't think I'll train as much as I did last year for it and will be more relaxed about my goal finishing time (last year I was aiming for 2 hours or less). I'll train, but I won't do runs longer than 8 or 9 miles, and I'll rely heavily on swimming, cycling, and strength training to increase my cardiovascular ability and muscle strength and limit the impact on my legs.
I'll also be relying heavily on God's help, so keep those prayers coming!

My fortune from last week.

Adaptability

Yesterday, my training plan called for a swim and a run. Did I swim or run yesterday? Nope.

Anyone with a chronic illness knows life is a balancing act.  We only have so much energy on any given day and it can be a delicate balance trying to prioritize and budget that energy. Even though I am so much better than I was in high school, I'm still not cured. I'm still tired all the time, it's just not as severe as before. Plus, I've had 12 years to learn how to live with it and I'm used to a certain level of fatigue.

This past week I haven't been able to sleep well.  Not that I ever actually get quality sleep, but lately I haven't been getting a good quantity of sleep, either.

So I woke up on Monday with the intentions of going to the gym. I was even extra motivated because I had just announced my Half Ironman plan. But I never went. At first, I felt guilty not training yesterday after what I wrote about this being my prayer and having all these big goals. But that's not what it's about. Skipping a workout doesn't make me less thankful to God. It's being responsible and protecting myself.

I just didn't have it in me. I knew I had to work that afternoon, and I was too worn out and my body was saying "please just rest today". So I listened.

Luckily my training plan is flexible and I can-within reason- move things around, so I did my swim and run today. I am so glad I didn't do them yesterday.

Today, I felt awesome in the water and did a little more than my training plan called for because I was having fun. Yesterday, I don't know if I would have even made it through the whole session or even made my interval times.

I followed that up with a great run that I couldn't have done yesterday, either.

It's about being adaptable.  About knowing when to give yourself a little extra rest, and change plans accordingly. It's not giving in, being weak, or being lazy. I've adjusted this week's training plan a few times already and it's only Tuesday, and I'm okay with that.

Had the pool to myself today.

One Year From Today

I may have lost my mind.  But maybe not.  But maybe.  Maybe I’m comparing my current self to my old limitations.

I’m planning on doing Ironman 70.3 Texas next April.  Actually, I’m currently watching the finishers cross the line for this year’s race, after swimming 1.2 miles, biking  56 miles, and running 13.1 miles (the professional won in 3:46).  What am I getting myself into?  I have a year.  A FULL YEAR.  Anything is possible in a year, isn't it? 

I’m healthier now, but under that is the fear that any day my health might go away. 

I shouldn't be as active as I am now.  I shouldn't have run a half marathon, a few 10Ks, and 4 sprint Triathlons.  I shouldn't be training for my first Olympic Triathlon.  I shouldn't have finished college or have a full time job.  At least I never thought so.  When I was in 10^th grade I got sick with what we thought was the flu, only I never actually recovered from it. 

Doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.  Most of them thought I was making it up.  But I was exhausted.  Not just tired.  Exhausted.  Some days I struggled to sit up, to stand up long enough for a shower,  or to bring a spoon of cereal up to my mouth.  My body hurt with fatigue.  I could only manage half days at school because I didn't have the energy to stay all day.  And we all decided it was best to home school for 11^th and 12^th grade since finishing 10^th was so difficult.  And even that took longer than expected, and delayed my graduation by a year.

I was so scared.  If I was too sick to even finish High School on time, how was I ever going to make it through college?  How would I ever hold down a full time job?  How how how how?  All of this made me hate my body for holding me back from my potential.

This was back when Lance Armstrong was still America’s encouraging Hero. He gave me hope that one day I’d come back stronger than before. It’s when I fell in love with the Tour de France- I was just amazed at what the human body is capable of (and still am!).  For me,  I decided  my comeback Tour de France would be a Half Marathon.  I thought- if I can manage that, then I’ll be healthy again.  That will prove I've come back and that I’m better than before.

After four years, God brought me to the right doctors. Even though none of my doctors could/can really figure out what’s wrong.  It’s some sort of sleeping disorder related to Narcolepsy that might have some autoimmune component.  No one really knows yet.  But with the right medication (and a lot of coffee!), I can function.

But by then, my hatred of my body, and a vast array of other things, led to anorexia.  By the time I was hospitalized at 21, I was on the brink of osteoporosis- resulting in 6 femoral stress fractures, and so many in my tibias I lost count (I've had recent ones unrelated to bone density).  I wasn't allowed to run until my bones were stronger, which, coupled with my stubbornness, was a blessing in disguise, because you know what?  my dream of finishing a Half Marathon was what helped me to recover from my eating disorder.  I knew if I didn't recover I could never have my “Tour de France” comeback moment.  And I wasn't about to allow my body to ruin another goal of mine. 

So  I put everything into recovery.  I refused to believe that full recovery was impossible like so many think. Within a year my bone loss was reversed, which my doctor wasn't expecting.

It took a little longer for full recovery, but I did it.   I’m one of the lucky ones.  I survived the deadliest mental illness.  Like I said, I shouldn't be doing what I do.

By God’s grace and the support of my awesome family, I graduated college Summa Cum Laude, and I landed a job at one of the best hospitals in the world.  I ran my “Tour de France” Half Marathon in 2012, and became a Triathlete the following spring.  Endurance sports helped me so much in my eating disorder recovery.  Not only was it the motivation I needed to keep my bones strong, I knew I couldn't train if I wasn't fueling my body properly.  It’s taught me to work with my body instead of against it.  3 hour workouts no longer qualify as ‘over exercising’ since they’re focused, well fueled, and with the purpose of building strength and not breaking my body down.   

How do you even say “Thank you” to God for that?  For my future? For my health?  For my recovery?  I don’t really know.  But I know that when I’m training and racing and doing all of these things, it’s as though I’m showing God that I am not taking my health for granted.  If I have the ability, I’m not going to waste it.  And that’s how I say thank you.  My training is prayer in motion.

Last week I was asked “have you picked your Half Ironman yet?” and I laughed and said no.  It seemed like a distant dream.  A “someday” goal that would maybe happen.  “Someday” I’d get to put a 70.3 sticker on my car.  But out of curiosity I started looking, and I decided Ironman 70.3 Texas would be good for my first Half (does saying “first” imply there will be a second?  Oh, no!).  And the more I thought about it, the more that April 2015 was as good a year as any.

I think I decided for sure last night.  But sometimes when I think of it I feel nauseous, other times I get emotional and tear up.  After all, endurance sports mean a lot to me.

So begins my journey.

At the finish of my "Tour de France" Half Marathon.